1) Observe the way you talk to yourself
Start talking to and about yourself the way you would talk to someone you love. Even if there are things you don’t totally love about yourself, talk about it the way you would if a friend told you they hated that part about themselves. Would you say to your friend, “Ew, you are right, that cellulite is disgusting”, or “Yes your nose and forehead are massive”, or “You look really fat today”. No, you wouldn’t, so why do we think it’s acceptable to talk to ourselves that way? Be patient with yourself, this is a process and it doesn’t happen overnight – especially if this is what you’re used to. Start small. When you catch yourself saying something negative to or about yourself, instantly follow it with saying something positive about yourself or something amazing you have done that day. Do this enough and I promise that the negative-talk will stop. Once you start to talk to yourself like this, it really allows you to get to know who you are at the core. It allows you to learn to accept and eventually love yourself for exactly who you are, flaws and all. When you can live a life where you know yourself so well that you are living authentically as you, it really doesn’t matter what others think or say about you.
2) Spend more time on your own
Use this time to do anything that you love. Take yourself out for a date, go for a nice meal, go to the cinema, take yourself out for a coffee or have a movie/Netflix night with some popcorn, do some painting, buy yourself some flowers. Getting to know and loving your own company is very powerful and peaceful. It is a great way of showing you that you are enough on your own. As soon as you know this, you will realise that you don’t actually need anyone else. It makes you realise how important your peace is and how you only want people in your life who can add to that peace!
3) Your body is a temple
Treat your body with kindness, eat good food, find a way to enjoy moving your body. Think about what you consume – this doesn’t just mean food and drink – I also mean the kind of things you are consuming on social media. If you are following or reading things that make you feel bad about yourself, or angry, or any kind of strong negative emotion, then remove it from your timeline, it is not worth your energy.
4) Be kind to your mind
Find ways that help you to really relax and unwind. Taking this time out for yourself that you deserve is so rewarding, even if it’s just for a few minutes a day – you’ll really feel the benefits. Have a candlelit bath, read a book, or try some meditation. Treat yourself to a massage or some reflexology – they are both very relaxing treatments that have so many benefits; they help to release the symptoms of anxiety, they reduce muscle tension, and these treatments release the happy and feel-good hormones into your body and help you to sleep better as well.
5) When you focus on the good, the good gets better
When you stop criticising the things you haven’t got or the things you haven’t done, and instead start focusing on the amazing things about yourself, the amazing things you have done and the wonderful things you do have in your life, you start to see even more of that beauty. Write a list when you wake up or before you go to bed, of 3 things that you are grateful for in your life right now, it could be something as simple as your morning coffee. Doing this every day is scientifically proven to improve your mindset and perspective, and it allows you to love your life exactly as it is.
Click here to read Gracie’s Personal Story, “The Importance of Self-Love”.